The Killer Wore Cranberry by J. Alan Hartman (ed)

Author:J. Alan Hartman (ed) [Hartman, J. Alan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: anthology, cozy, culinary, detective, holiday, mystery, recipes, women sleuths
ISBN: 9781611870138
Google: mlkZrBj7v4sC
Publisher: Untreed Reads
Published: 2010-11-01T02:08:39.370000+00:00

Who Snuffed the Turkey?

By Lance Zarimba

The last thing I ever thought I’d be thankful for was that it wasn’t my ass sticking out of the bathroom window.

It all started when I agreed to have Thanksgiving at my house this year.

Sage dressing and celery covered the counter, when my brother David walked in. “Did Julia Child die in here?”

I slipped the stuffed turkey into the oven and closed the door. “Why do you ask?”

“No one would ever cook in such a dirty kitchen.” My brother picked up a paper towel and wiped a big glop of wet bread and herbs off the granite.

“I’m cooking, and that’s why it’s a mess. If you’d help, it would go faster and be tidier, and once everything is in the oven, I can clean up this mess.”

“I’m almost done with my painting. Is that a subtle hint that I’ll help before the whole family comes over?”

“Yes, and then some,” I admitted.

“I’m afraid to ask.” Dave went into the cabinet under the sink and took out the cleaning supplies.

I nodded, understanding his fear.

“You didn’t.”

“You asked me to invite everyone, remember?” I closed my eyes. “I had to invite him.”

“Jennifer wouldn’t come without him?”

“Toad will be a part of this family in three months.” I wiped my hands on the dish towel.

The phone rang.

I answered, “Hello, Mom.”

“Dear, do you need me to bring anything?”

“No, Mom, I have it all taken care of.”

“I baked a turkey last night, and it’s all cut up. All I’d have to do is heat it up…”

“My turkey is stuffed and in the oven already.” I rolled my eyes.

“You didn’t really stuff the turkey, the salmonella will kill…”

“I’m just kidding, Mom.”

“No he’s not,” Dave hollered. “He stuffed the turkey last night and left out on the counter top at room temperature all night long….”

I pulled the phone to my chest. “I’m going to kill you.”

“Don’t threaten your brother.” Mom clicked her tongue. “We could bring some smoked turkey. Dad used his smoker last week.”

“Bring whatever you want, Mom.” It’s not like I could stop her.

“Can’t wait to see you, Mother,” Dave called. He rolled his eyes.

“Make sure the house is clean, you know how your father is. His allergies are acting up.”

“Yes, Mom.” I looked down at Dave’s black fingernails.

He saw my stare. “I’m not going to take it off.”

I shrugged. “See you soon, bye.” And I hung up.

“So you agree with Dad?” Dave demanded. He looked at his black fingernails and made a fist.

“I’m not taking sides. You’re an adult; you can make your own decisions.”

“Will you back me up with him?”

“You’re twenty-five. You’re on your own.”

“Thanks for your support, big bro.” Dave took the cleaning stuff and left the room.

“You know how he is. Besides, I have my own issues with him.”

* * *

“Squeeze some lemon into the cranberries and then mix it up. That’s the last thing I need to do,” I said.

David picked up the can. “So that’s your secret recipe?”

“Mix it up, and don’t tell Mom. When she

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